escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
