He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
one two three fourrrrnication!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
