Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize