The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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