It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
