Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
