So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Houston, we have a squirter
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
