Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
