found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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