I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
