i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
