My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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