Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
