The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
