well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
