I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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