Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
