Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
