how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
