We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
