Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
