Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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