I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
