I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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