i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
