Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
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