You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
