dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
