I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
