Please, let me fuck your mom
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
