So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
