just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
