He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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