You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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