i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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