Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Randomize