the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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