Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
