i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
