Nicole vs. Life
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize