Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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