Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
