When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
