First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize