Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
