New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
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