Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I cockslap morals
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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