So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
