Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
