WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Houston, we have a blender
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
