Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
