i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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