its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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