Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
