I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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