My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize