I'm jealous of your bromance
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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