idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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