I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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