We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I think I won the penis lottery.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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