weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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